Whole 30 - Day 12

Well I'm still hanging in there.  I'll be honest, I don't feel very good at all right now.  I slept wrong on Tuesday night and as a result my neck has hurt so much and I can't really turn my head.  The biggest problem is that I haven't slept well the past two nights as a result.  I also had to get up extra early today for early meetings at work.

But, aside from my sleep, I just feel crappy.  I haven't weighed myself in awhile but I haven't lost anything, I can tell.  My clothes aren't fitting well and nothing looks good.  I was just eating lunch and suddenly felt terrible.  My stomach hurts and I'm really hot all of a sudden.  Throwing up would not be outside the realm of possibility right now.  Ugh.  I hate being sick at work!  I haven't finished my lunch but I just don't think I can right now since I'm already in pain.

Part of me wonders if this sudden sickness is an early pregnancy sign or something, but I highly doubt it is.  We've been trying since September, and nothing.  I'm actually starting to think I'm just infertile.  That makes me partially sad and then sometimes I just don't care.  I guess I just wish I knew for sure either way.  If I can't have kids then that's fine and I will find other things to do with my life.  I might seriously look into foster care, for example.  Or, I wouldn't have to worry about maternity leave and I could start a business.  I want to start a business regardless of whether we have kids, but if we have them I'd probably wait until the youngest was in school all day to do it rather than trying to start a business during the baby stage.

My stomach ache is starting to lift, so that's good.  Maybe it was just the vitamins I took (vitamin D and methylfolate), but I haven't had that reaction ever before, so it's weird.  Also, (TMI alert!) I am backed up.  I haven't gone to the bathroom since Wednesday.  Not cool.  I mean, seriously, where does everything go when that happens?

Anyway, here's my menu for today:

Breakfast - Frittata
Lunch - Chicken Soup
Dinner - Crab Cakes, Asparagus wrapped in Prosciutto

At least the weekend is here.  I have nothing going on, of course, because doing Whole 30 has turned me into a total hermit.  But, oh well.  I am thinking about designing a bracelet and starting on that.  I have one I started already though.  I'm not as interested in it now as I was when I first started, which is typical for me.

Happy Friday.

Whole 30 - Day 10

So it's the famous day 10 then I've been psyching myself out about.  My weight sucks.  My measurements suck.  I hate this plan.  So,  yeah, no different than any other day.  I better start to see some serious magic soon.

I forgot to mention that on day 8 I had a migraine.  That really ticks me off because, well, how could that happen?  I've eaten nothing but good stuff, I haven't cheated at all, and I get a migraine!  WTF?!  It was a pretty bad one, in terms of the aura, too.  Very annoying.  What's even more annoying is that I got another bad one today.  I mean, seriously?  I cannot believe this.  I was so sure that if I followed a healthy diet that these things would abate and the fact that they haven't makes me feel very out of control.  I really really hate it.  I've had migraines since I was in the 5th grade and I've really tried to figure out what the trigger is.  I thought maybe it was food related, but now I think I can say with confidence that it isn't.  They truly seem to come out of nowhere at completely random times.  A good portion of them come on in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping.  Crazy.

Anyway, headaches aside, things are fine.  I'm starting to get bored, but that's not the worst thing in the world.  Mostly I just want to get through the next 20 days so I can move on with my life.  I don't really think anything is going to come of this for me.  I'm not sure why I feel that way, but I just do.  I definitely miss alcohol and sweeteners the most.  I can't wait to have a glass of champagne to celebrate when I'm done.

In case anyone is curious, here's today's menu:

Breakfast - Fritatta
Lunch - Chicken soup, Chicken "Taco" Leftovers, Almond Milk
Dinner - Salad, Banana with Almond Butter

I also had a bite of Rob's Apple Pie Larabar at dinner.  It's pretty good.  I'm saving mine for an emergency though.

Lately I've wanted to exercise, but for some reason I just can't make myself do it.  So, I emailed a couple personal trainers.  I have a pretty sweet home gym and it's been sadly neglected lately.  I know if I have an appointment with someone I will keep it.  Hopefully I can find a trainer that I can afford and who will come to the house.  If I end up hiring a trainer I want to focus on weight training because I just really hate doing it myself lately.  I'm much more likely to do cardio/intervals on my own.

So, that's day 10 for me.  I'm ready for bed now.

Whole 30 - Day 9

Today is day 9 and things are still going okay.  As the timeline predicted, I am starting to become very aware of everything I'm choosing not to eat and I'm getting a little sad about it.  That said, I promised I'd do this, so I'm doing it.

I finally made the chicken soup that I've been wanting tonight.  So, I'll be eating that until I'm sick of it, most likely.  That's what I plan to bring for lunch the next couple days.  Other than that there's really nothing happening here.

Today's Menu:

Breakfast - Fritatta
Lunch - Avocado and Tuna Salad
Dinner - Salmon, Stir Fried Vegetables

I did manage to stay up until 10:30 last night, which is late for me.  Is that a sign that I have more energy?  Or maybe it just means I'm drinking too much green tea.  Who knows.  It's 8:41 right now and I'd like to go to bed, but I know it is too early.  Plus, My Big Fat Fabulous Life is on at 9:00 and I want to see it.

Well, that's all I've got today.  I'm still not 100% sure I'll be able to make it through day 30, but I hope I can.  As the timeline says, none of the magic has kicked in yet, so I can tell the next two weeks are going to be tough.

Whole 30 - Days 6, 7 and 8

I survived the baby shower on Saturday night and made it through Sunday without any problems, as well.  I definitely wanted to eat some of the candy, chicken nuggets and cheese that were brought to my house Saturday, but I stayed strong.  I had a lot of "mimosas" though.  I feel bad about that because I know it was a lot of sugar, but, at least it was just plain, fresh orange juice instead of the 15 peanut butter cups I wanted to have.  I suppose I have to consider that progress.

Sunday wasn't super tempting for me, but I did miss the beer and/or mixed drinks I'd usually have while watching football.  The Packers won though, which was nice for my husband.  Personally, I'm a Bears fan, so anyone familiar with the Bears knows how this year has been.  When the Bears are out I cheer for the Packers too, so hopefully they will make it to the Super Bowl.

Now that it's Monday we're officially into week 2.  I know that day 10 is the most common day that people give up on Whole 30.  I'm not sure why that is yet, maybe on day 10 I'll find out.  As of now, this week looks like it shouldn't really be much tougher than last week was.  We've got our food plan pretty well set.  I've got avocado and tuna salad again for lunch, which luckily is something I like.  I want to make some chicken soup tonight or tomorrow that I can use for lunches, snacks or as part of dinner.  I have really wanted chicken noodle soup for a while now, so that's what I'll be making, just without the noodles.

Since it has been a week, I figure I'll update my status on everything I commented on back on day 1:

• Skin - Not much change here; still dry and still getting new pimples pretty much every day.  Blah.  

• Hair - Dry, as usual, no change here either.

• Weight - 194.6 today (down from 196.8 last Monday; I've been at this weight for 5 days now), Waist is 42" still, no change.

• Exercise - Still non-existent.  I'm still tired a lot.  I wanted to go to bed at 8:30 yesterday, for example.  

• Digestion - This is one area where I've had some actual improvement.  Going to the bathroom has not been painful and awful.  I'm sort of regular even.  So, that is a definite plus for me.  

• Emotionally - No real change.  I'm definitely losing patience with my sister and her continual digs at me.  I don't think I really want to be around her anymore, if I can avoid it.  I think I will just avoid her as much as possible.  I don't really see any reason why I should put up with her nonsense at the moment. 

• Sleep - No big changes here.  I stayed up way too late on Saturday and didn't sleep well. I always thought I had bad sleep after drinking because of the alcohol, but I think just plain staying up too late might be part of it now.  Who knew?

I've obviously been weighing myself still, and I'm starting to see why they say you shouldn't.  The reason is because I haven't lost any real weight at all yet.  It's very disappointing.  I haven't lost any inches either, so it's not one of those things where I'm gaining muscle (which isn't really possible since I haven't been exercising).  Several days my measurements have been higher than they were when I started.  Not cool.  I know that according to the time line that can happen, so I really hope things turn around by next Monday.  

I still miss sugar and dairy.  Really, right now I'm waiting for the magic to kick in.  The only area that seems better at all is my digestion, which is great and all, but I would rather it be my weight or body composition than that.  

Whole 30 - Days 4 & 5

Today is day 5.  Yesterday, was another day that was just okay.  I really wanted something sugary.  I tried to soothe my cravings with other foods, but it really didn't work.  Sugar just tastes so good.  I miss that more than alcohol.

Yesterday's menu was okay, but nothing special:

Breakfast - Banana with Almond Butter
Lunch - Beef Stew (man, I'm sick of this stuff now)
Dinner - Steak (NY strip), 1/2 Sweet Potato, Roasted Brussels Sprouts
Snacks - Pickles, Olives, Roasted Garlic

I may have already said this, but I love olives.  The olive bar at Mariano's is pretty great, I get kalamata olives and this roasted garlic that they have.  The garlic is great.  It, unfortunately, uses a vegetable oil (sunflower, I think), so I try to drain off as much of that as I possibly can.  Otherwise, they are perfect for Whole 30.

Today I have that beef stew for lunch again, which I'm not really looking forward to.  I have a fritatta for breakfast though, which I guess is fine.  Tonight we're going to try to make crab cakes, which I am excited about.  I love crab cakes.  If they aren't too hard I'll be making them for my cousin's shower tomorrow.

Speaking of which, that will be my true test.  I'm hosting, just 7 people, but 5 of them will be drinking (which I wish I could) and all of them will be bringing and eating foods I cannot eat.  I'm nervous that I won't be able to keep it together and stay the course.  I've planned a couple drinks that are Whole 30 compliant though:

• Mimosa - 2 parts lime seltzer, 1 part orange juice
• Piña Colada - 1 part coconut cream, 1 part pineapple juice, 1 part ice

I know fruit juice isn't ideal, but I think this is just one of those situations where I'm going to need it.  I would rather have some fruit juice than give in to having alcohol.  I'm pretty excited about the piña colada, actually.

It's weird, I keep worrying that I won't be able to stick with the program, but so far I haven't really been tempted at all.  Maybe that's my worry, that I'll crumble if I encounter real temptation.  I did make cookies with my sister yesterday though and I managed to not lick my fingers or taste a single crumb.  That's a tempting setting, right?

I keep thinking about the Whole 30 timeline and wondering where I am at in it.  My wedding ring is really tight today, which seems like it would be part of days 8 and 9 on the timeline.  I also was super tired yesterday (days 6 and 7).  I went to bed around 8:00, pretty much, and I slept until 6:30 without a problem.  I'm not tired now though, but I know I won't last very late at night tonight.  I did have a very odd dream last night, two of them, actually.  Is that a sign that I am sleeping better?  Who knows.

Anyway, I should get back to work.  Suddenly there's a lot to do, which is a plus.  Work is stressing me out a little, but I know that even when it seems like I'm going to be overwhelmed with work, the work really only lasts a couple days and then I'm back to having nothing to do.  I would think it was this particular job, but every job I have ever had has been like this.  I think that's why I enjoy retail so much; there really is always something you can do ("if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean").  None of my office jobs has ever been that way and I've worked for 5 different companies in 9 different positions over the last 11 years.  The common denominator there is obviously me.

Until tomorrow... stay warm!

Whole 30 - Day 3

Still going strong.  I managed to survive watching The Bachelor with my sister last night, which for me is an accomplishment.  She wanted (and had) wine.  Then after dinner she wanted something sugary so she cut into the 1/2 pound peanut butter cup Rob got for Christmas.  It was hard not to lick my fingers after cutting it and not having a taste, but I stayed strong.

I worked from home today, which is nice because I was able to escape to Whole Foods to pick up the coconut aminos I needed for our dinner.  We had stir fried vegetables and seared tuna.  It was pretty good.  I tried to make wasabi mayonnaise though, and that turned out to be really gross.  The wasabi powder was very bitter and nothing I mixed with the may seemed to counteract it.  Oh well.

This was today's menu:

Breakfast - Fritatta
Lunch - Beef Stew
Dinner - Seared Tuna and Stir Fried Vegetables

Tomorrow looks like a lot of the same stuff.  Breakfast and lunch will be exactly the same, in fact.  For dinner we're having steak, roasted Brussels sprouts and maybe asparagus.

I didn't weigh myself today.  I don't know if that is good or bad, but it's just what happened.  I sort of wish I had weighed myself because I want to know if I'm losing weight, but I know it doesn't matter that much what the scale says on any one day.  Maybe I'll skip the scale again tomorrow.

Right now I'm watching My 600 Pound Life.  If that show isn't motivation to lose weight, I don't know what is.  I really like the show, particularly when the people on it are successful.  When they aren't successful I just feel bad for them.  I hope other people like that show so they will continue to make it.  Although, I'll admit, I would love it if there was a show that focused on people of my size and with my history (people who have always been overweight, never have been athletic, etc.).  Every show seems to be focused on super large people.

Anyway, I'm only 3 days in, but so far I feel like Whole 30 isn't too bad when it's just me and Rob and we can cook at home.  The challenge is when other people are around and they want me to eat/drink like I always have.  I usually fold in those situations, regardless of whatever plan I want to be following.  I hate the pressure.  People will say things like "you are crazy, you look fine, there's no reason to be so extreme" whenever I'm trying to follow a plan.  It ticks me off because usually the person saying this nonsense is a "normal" weight (so they weigh 50 pounds less than I do).  I know for a fact these people would be miserable at my size, yet for some reason they think I should be happy and not try and change it.  It's very frustrating.

That last paragraph makes me wonder if I've reached the "Kill all of the things" phase... If you have no idea what that means, read the Whole 30 Timeline.  :)

Whole 30 - Day 2

I survived my first day of Whole 30.  It actually wasn't too bad.  We had already planned what we were going to have for dinner last night, pulled pork and sweet potatoes, and I had already cooked the pork (so all it needed was to be warmed up) and washed the potatoes.  Tonight we're having beef stew, so we prepared that last night while we were heating our pork and potatoes.  So far, so good.

I really don't think I can give up the scale when I know I am in this diet bet though.  I don't have a huge emotional reaction to the number, but I need to know it's staying the same or going the right way when I have this bet hanging over my head.  I'm down 0.6 pounds today to 196.2, no change in my waist measurement though.  Should I stop looking at the scale?  I don't know if it will really do anything positive for me and I worry that it'll have the negative impact of causing me to take my eye off of my goal and causing my weight to creep up, even while I'm eating Whole 30 compliant, so I'm reluctant to give it up.

Today's meal plan is:

Breakfast - Fritatta
Lunch - Tuna Salad, Avocado, Carrots
Dinner - Beef Stew

We got some pretty awesome snack foods at the grocery store last night.  I know snacks aren't part of Whole 30, but honestly, I am sometimes so hungry when I get home from work that I just cannot wait another hour/hour and a half to eat something.  So, we got some olives.  I forget how awesome olives are, but they are great.  I also have pickles, fruit and almond butter (to put on the fruit).  Rob got some nuts but I don't even like nuts that much and I don't need them.

Tonight I have to make some chicken soup that I'm going to use for lunches.  I think we have all the ingredients though, so it shouldn't be too tough to make that.  Then tomorrow we're having seared tuna and I wanted to do stir fried vegetables with a soy type sauce.  Of course I can't use regular soy sauce.  Apparently people use coconut aminos in place of soy sauce.  I don't think we can buy coconut aminos anywhere locally besides Whole Foods.  Unfortunately, the closest Whole Foods is about 10 miles away and isn't convenient at all.  Maybe Rob can get it tonight while we watch The Bachelor or something.  If it wasn't so insanely cold I'd walk to the Whole Foods in the West Loop during my lunch but that sounds like torture right now.  They are supposed to open a Whole Foods in an old Dominick's near us, but man, they sure are taking forever to do it.

Anyway, that's where things are today.  I don't really feel confident that I can do this for 30 days, even though yesterday was pretty easy.  I'm worried about the weekend, when I'd normally have some adult beverages and I'll have a lot of time on my hands with nothing planned to do.  I guess I need to come up with a jewelry project that I'm excited enough about to work on.  I started a bracelet a long time ago and now I just don't feel much desire to work on it.  I guess I need a different project for now.