I'm a little disappointed in my weight today. I'm up 0.6 pounds from where I was last week and my waist is up a little bit too. It stinks. I know it is because last weekend was a diet disaster and, really, my food this week hasn't been great either. I'm just in such a funk that I don't know what to do.
We ended up ordering food last night. It makes me a little frustrated with my husband because, unless I figure out exactly what to make for dinner, we end up ordering food. He almost never contributes any ideas. Lately, I'm just sort of down and I haven't been able to come up with any good ideas so our dinners have been bad. We usually bring leftovers to work for lunch, so since dinners have been bad our lunches have been as well (because we end up going out). I didn't have anything to bring for breakfast or lunch today so I ended up basically skipping breakfast and I guess I'll get Chipotle for lunch. The sad thing is that I'm not really excited about it and normally, it would be a treat and I'd be pumped. I guess this is just how it goes when you're prone to depression.
Aside from my bad food choices I'm frustrated in general right now. My brother in law suggested we take a family trip to Door County this coming weekend. It was planned several months ago and he rented a house large enough for everyone (8 adults and my nephew). Then, last Friday my sister and brother in law said that they had taken too much time off of work and canceled the trip. They didn't really give the rest of us much time to think about it and canceled the house reservation. My parents and Rob and I were considering still going, but we can't find a house anywhere.
My mom mentioned the Henry Ford museum to my dad, who loves cars, so now they are going there. I personally could not care less about that museum and have no desire to go to Detroit, so now Rob and I have nothing going on. My other sister made other plans immediately (well, her boyfriend did so now she won't go anywhere). I'm annoyed because I could use a vacation type break. Hanging around he house is going to make me feel guilty because I don't want to change out our faucet or work on anything, yet if I'm not doing anything else I obviously should do those things. Blah. I keep looking for a last minute thing we could do, but I haven't found anything.
I feel like I should have known all along the trip wouldn't happen. My brother in law has a habit of pointing out events or trips and then he and my sister don't go. Just a couple months ago Rob and I got tickets to a wine festival at their suggestion and ended up going to it alone. It was fun anyway, but still, why do they do this? The reality of my life is that if I want to go anywhere or do anything I need to plan it (and I have to assume my one sister will not show up, even if she says she will). If anyone else plans it the plans fall apart, it seems. I wish just once someone else would take control, but I know that will never happen. I'm tired of flaky people, yet they tend to gravitate toward me since I will make plans and they otherwise wouldn't. It's very annoying.
In other news, I am thinking about buying some kefir grains and making my own kefir. I like Lifeway kefir but it's quite expensive. I don't know if anyone has any experience or tips for me, but if you do please share. I'm going to assume that the ones I linked to come with some instructions, but if not I'm sure I can find some elsewhere. I really need to find something easy to devote some energy to so I can try and get out of this funk. Anything too challenging or daunting just isn't going to happen right now. Even decorating seems like too many big decisions for me at the moment, and that NEVER happens.
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