It's a Lifestyle...

I'm annoyed right now.  I've been struggling with my weight for all of my life.  I've made a lot of changes to my lifestyle in order to lose weight.  I'm not 100% perfect with it, but I try every day.  Just some examples:

• I no longer eat wheat - I will have some rarely in small quantities (the breading on something fried, for example)
• I walk a lot and average around 10,000 steps a day
• I do sprint workouts once or twice a week
• I don't eat fast food
• I lift weights
• Generally speaking, I eat according to the Primal Blueprint
• I no longer drink wine on weeknights
• I never cook with vegetable oils and avoid them as much as possible when dining out
• I go out to eat less than 5 times a week (previously I went out to eat for 80% or more of my meals)

Doing these things hasn't caused me to lose any weight and as a result I'm constantly being accused of treating the changes I've made as a "diet" instead of a "lifestyle" even though I've been doing this crap for 3 years!  I would have gone back to my previous diet a long time ago if I was treating this as temporary.

Prior to reading about Paleo/Primal my diet was FULL of wheat/grains.  I never thought about where my food came from so things like grass fed beef were totally foreign to me.  I had no idea what PUFA was and thought vegetable oils were healthy.  I've made many permanent changes in the quest to lose weight.  The fact that these changes were enough for other people to lose weight and have done nothing for me is extremely frustrating.  Then, add to it that frustration that I am constantly being accused of not changing enough, not trying hard enough, not doing enough, etc.  I just want to scream.  I have done so much more than 95% of the overweight people in this country!  Read any weight loss blog and you'll see a person that still eats wheat and "healthy whole grains" a person that still goes out to eat, a person that can still share a meal with their friends because they aren't bombarded with dietary restrictions.  That person is not me though, because I'm still fat!

I am so sick and tired of being told my efforts aren't enough as though I don't already know that!  Lately, I feel like I've cut to the bone though and there's just nothing left.  I'm going to work on eliminating corn now, I guess.  That is going to be very difficult because corn is what allows me to eat somewhat normally around others (I can suggest Mexican food, basically).  I love popcorn and even though I rarely have it, I guess I'll cut out that one time a month that I have it.  I'll stop dining at Mexican restaurants so I no longer have tortillas or tortilla chips.

Anyway, I'm at 194.4 today.  That's another gain, of course.  Somehow my waist measurement has stayed the same, so I'm not going to freak out.  I'm just so exhausted.  I want to get to something I can sustain.  As of now, I care but I don't care because I'm too tired to care.