Week 7

I must say, week 7 has been much better than the past two weeks of this pregnancy.  I'm very tired and still have breast tenderness, but I'm not nearly as nauseated.  I feel pretty good most of the time.  The worst part is the tiredness that hits me in the afternoons at work.  I would gladly pay to be able to take a nap most days.  I really wish that was an option.

As for weight stuff, I'm okay in that department.  I got down to 186.6 and I've been holding there for a few days now.  Today, my waist measurement was actually under 41 inches, which is the smallest it has been since I started tracking.  I'm pretty excited about that.  It figures I'd finally start seeing success on that front when I'm 7 weeks pregnant and there is zero chance of the losses sticking, right?

Other than that, life is just going on as usual.  My closest friends went to St. Louis for Mardi Gras last weekend.  As usual, they didn't invite me.  It's a messy situation that goes back over 10 years now; my friend's ex boyfriend decided that he didn't like me back when they were dating.  He badmouthed me to people and convinced them to hate me as well.  As a result, I'm not welcome at certain events, even though I never did anything to this guy or the people he convinced to dislike me.  My friends all just went along with the exclusion even though they've known all along I didn't do anything because it was easier for them.

So, ten years later, I am regularly left feeling hurt and like a second tier friend.  It sucks.  I think that I've finally had my limit.  I haven't talked to any of these friends since I found out about this years trip.  I'm just so done with this drama.  Plus, with a baby on the way I can't drink with them and do the stuff I used to enjoy with them anyway.  Once the baby is here obviously how I spend my time is going to change and I don't see these friends being all that interested in spending time with a kid.  I guess cutting ties is for the best, but it is still really hard.

I wish there was a way I could accept being left out and be okay with it, but I've been trying to be okay with it for 10 years and I'm just not.  I don't think my friends would be okay with it either if they were in my shoes.  I've talked about this with them many times, but no one will explain why this is still an issue and if there's anything I can do about it no one will tell me what that something is.  It's very frustrating, to say the least.  The whole situation has been on my mind a lot and I just don't see a solution.  It sucks to give up my closest friends.

Anyway, I hope everyone's having a good weekend.  I need to find something to do tonight, but I don't know if I'll be able to since Rob's pretty set on working on the table.  I can't wait for that table to be done.