I can't believe I only have a week of this Whole 30 left! I've been wanting to go to Red Robin for the entire time and soon I actually can! Don't get me wrong though, this has changed my relationship with food, I think. I've stopped mindlessly eating after work, for one thing. That is huge for me because after work is a time I would often reach for an unhealthy snack (looking at you, Lay's Potato Chips). Now though, I usually just wash any dishes that happen to be in the sink from the night before, empty the dish rack and then start chopping for dinner. A much better habit, to be sure.
Of course, speaking of habits, I am worried about how a baby is going to fit in with my attempt to eat healthy. I don't really like cooking and planning my meals constantly, but for me it seems to be a necessary evil. I cannot appear healthy without putting in a lot of work. How is this going to work with a baby? Can I cook and pump at the same time?
I have a lot of concerns, I guess. In particular I'm worried about daycare and how much it is going to cost. I don't know why I am so worried, but I am. My sister and brother-in-law make less money than my husband and I do, and they are able to afford daycare, so logically so can we. But, I am worried anyway. I'm going to miss walking to the train, actually, if I have to drive to drop the baby off somewhere. Since there's really not a lot between my house and the train station driving is going to become likely. How will I get all my movement in then?
I don't know, maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion. I don't think I am though. I mean, I've known for many years now that kids are a ton of work. I didn't enter into this blindly at all, I don't think. But, until a few days ago, I didn't really have to worry about any of the details.
I also have to find a midwife or doctor. I really don't want a hospital birth because I'm worried about being "pushed" (pun intended) into a bunch of things I don't want. I don't want a C-section unless my or the baby's life is in danger. I don't want pain medication (though I'm sure I will say that I do). I don't want the baby getting shot up with a synthetic vitamin only minutes after being born. There's plenty more things I don't want happening, but you get the idea. So, I'm definitely leaning toward using a midwife. I would love to have a home birth if I can, but I have no idea if I'm considered high risk or not. I shouldn't be since I feel healthy, don't have high blood pressure, high blood sugar, high cholesterol or anything else like that, but who knows.
The other thing I am already freaking out about is telling people. I am 33. There are no guarantees that this pregnancy will be perfect and I don't want to tell anyone right away. In a way I wish I hadn't told Rob yet so I could have done it in a cute way, I blew that though. Rob's already asking me for dates when we can tell his parents. Ugh. I don't want to tell anyone! I don't think anyone perceives me as a baby person. This is going to change how several people in my life think of me, I just know it. That scares me. I'm also pretty sure that my parents will not care about my child as much as they care about their first grandson. So, that is a bummer.
Anyway, there's a lot to think about, obviously. I guess I just need to tackle one thing at a time. I guess maybe the midwife is the most important thing right now. I'll try and work on that.
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